True Confessions of An "Athlete"

I am starting to feel so pumped for this half-marathon! I know I blab about it a lot on here (point of the blog...duh), but at the moment, it's my only real fitness "goal." I'm keeping up strength training and toning as best I can without a gym (for the moment) and am trying to be better about practicing yoga on my own. And I'm trying to be harder on myself about truly making sure I'm doing something beneficial every day because well, we're getting married in less than six months and there's a dress that I want to look good in!

But anyways, this post is not for that. This post is to share a little bit (okay, a lot bit) about my journey to becoming the "athlete" I may be considered today. I struggle with the term "athlete" because I think of true athletes as people who play sports and win medals and things. However, the more I read about fitness and running, the more I recognize that "athlete" is a much broader term for people who are part of this healthy, active way of living. In Merriam-Webster, "athlete" is defined as:

"a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina"

And while I struggle with the label of the word itself (it's the academic in me), I guess I can be considered someone who is trained in something that requires physical strength because of running. Or something like that.*

It occurred to me recently that I find this whole fitness regimen (particularly running) thing still shocking, even though I've been really good about keeping things up for the last year. I find it interesting how much easier it is for me to convince myself to go for a run, do some strength/toning exercises, go for a bike ride, or go to a yoga class, than it is for me to practice my instruments. I struggle with a little guilt because I feel like I'm replacing time I should be spending practicing, with exercising instead. And even now, when I'm unemployed and have lots of free time, I find it's so much easier to tell myself "oh, spend an hour working out" than it is to pick up my clarinet for the same amount of time. I almost feel, in a sense, that I'm making up for some sort of "lost time" over the years. And I've talked about some of this before, but I wanted to share a full recap of my "athletic" life over the years, here.

As a kid, I was fairly active, doing dance 3-4 days a week and soccer 2-3 days (two practice, one game usually). And even though I was never a star athlete (although I believe in 6th grade I finally got the coveted presidential physical fitness award...or maybe I imagined that), I was what we would consider "fit." I wasn't a skinny or muscular kid, but I was active at least five days a week and my parents fed me mostly healthy foods, which I consider pretty darn good. And then somewhere around middle school, choices had to be made to prioritize time. Soccer got cut first because most girls on my team left to join more elite travel teams, and even though I could have qualified for that, I preferred dance. So then I mainly balanced dance and music. But then dance got really competitive, and again, I could have pushed myself to become Clara in the Nutcracker, or I could focus on the whole music thing, which I was really really good at. (This is also the time I started clogging, which is where I discovered my heart for dance truly lies, so that is what I began to pursue and still continue, when possible, these days).

By the time I reached college, I had been so focused on music, that I didn't recognize that there were other "extracurriculars" or "hobbies" beyond that. So in a weird kind of way, I judged people who "worked out." Not out of jealousy, but just wondered why they would waste the time, I guess? I understood and appreciated organized sports, and would occasionally participate in IM Wind Symphony soccer, but other than that, I mostly was happy to consider walking around campus my "exercise." During college, I did discover yoga and began to practice regularly, but then the Rec changed it's schedule and I never managed to get a yoga class to work with my 5-day a week evening rehearsal schedule, so it fell by the wayside. There was one summer where I joined a gym and was pretty proactive about going--I managed to shed a few pounds and gain some muscle definition, but looking back, I'm not sure how well I was working out.

When I moved to Tallahassee, the thought never crossed my mind to pick up a fitness regimen. But I was hearing more and more in my performance classes that keeping the body healthy will make you a better player. But I looked around and didn't see many people who did that, because as musicians, we are always keeping weird hours and never have enough time to fit it all in. But after hearing my friend Julia start talking about going to the gym every day after work, and seeing her boss, Mitzi (who is a total fitness and running CHAMP), up at 4:30 AM most days to go to her bootcamps/regular workout/whatever crazy class she's doing, I started to think maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Then I started to work for Jeff, who is a triathlete, and that's when I decided to join the Gold's up the street (talk about motivation). I took advantage of my free personal training session which turned into a few months worth of personal training sessions, and between that and the results I was seeing, I happily stuck to a workout routine. I also bought a bike and relearned how to ride, from Will.

Even though it meant early morning hours (getting up at 5 or 5:30 some weeks) to fit in practicing daily and working out a few days a week, I stuck with it because I was enjoying the results. And then sometime in December, after seeing Mitzi always bombarding my Saturday mornings with fun race photos on FB, and having several piano students who ran races, I decided it was time to give running a shot. I had always avoided it because a) really, it's no fun when you first start and you feel like a lazy ass no matter how "fit" you may think you are and b) I had previously been diagnosed with patella femoral pain syndrome (a knee problem) and was advised not to run. But I figured, why not give it a shot?

After a few weeks of giving it a good effort, it started to get easier. So I started actually tracking this improvement on the Nike+ app. Then I got some true "running" shoes. Then I signed up for a 5K and made Will do it with me. And here I am now, about 7 1/2-8 months later, and I'm enjoying training for a half-marathon. I have a full fitness wardrobe involving clothes for all the seasons and all the activities (running, yoga, regular working out, strength training at home, biking). I subscribe to Runner's World and Self magazines. I just made my first order of RunnerBox. I actually do the workouts I pin on Pinterest. And I do some kind of workout every day. WHAT THE WHAT.

So this is where I think "making up for lost time" is coming into play. I think because for the last 10+ years I thought it was silly to do physical activity purposely, I'm now doing it every day because I feel guilty for neglecting my body all that time. And while the clarinet is really nice and deserves to be played, it's finally time for me to figure out what I enjoy doing in life, not necessarily what I'm good at. Running and workouts are a gateway to determining who I am beyond the musical talents that have defined "me" for the last 10 years. The increasingly more toned arms and race bib collection (plus some finishers medals) are just bonuses ;-)

*If you wouldn't consider me an "athlete," tell me! What is your definition of an athlete?